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November 21 Movies, Lies and 2012 Best Practices
Don’t we all love Hollywood movies.
The movies till date have been based on 2 essential premises. If not, then a mix and match of these 2 story arcs.
1) World (read some major city in USA) Crisis Plot: Primarily to save the President. On rare ocassions the President saves the world. Examples: Alien Invasion, Robot / Machine Invasion, Apocalypse, Coldwar, some mutated fish or reptile attacking the world that is responsible for mutating it and lastly Vietnam
2) Heist Plot: Someone / some group / fanatic plans to outwit someone else / some other group / the world and people get killed as a side effect. Examples: All vampire, werewolf, mystery, murder mystery, gang wars, western movies, bond movies, bourne movies, superhero movies, bank robbery movies, hostage negotiation movies, treasure hunts, past and future, sci-fi movies, time travel, animated movies, family movies and all the spoofs fall into this category.
Umm, love and romantic movies do not really stand out as a distinct category, because love just happens in one of the above plots, between any two or more random characters.
With the recent release of 2012, here's a movie that is yet another apocalypse movie with small twists that are deviations from the normal plot here and there. It has some awesome (very scary and real) special effects. An eye candy for people who like good cinematography and special effects and like to watch movies on the big screen.
After the movie, I wondered if 2012 is all that inevitable and all.
Then it is my moral duty as a humanitarian citizen of the world, to add some value to the Mayan warning, by coming up with some "2012 Best Practices" inspired by the movie. These and only these guarantee you a survival plan.
(Recommended)
1. Be the Prez's daughter (no, sons wont do) 2. Or be John Cusack and / or his family 3. Or be the successor of Dalai Lama (no, being the great Dalai Lama is of no use, people would just leave you because you are supposed to kick the bucket soon, anyways) 4. Or be in the family of the successor of the Dalai Lama 5. Or be in the middle of the African continent - i guess it was too big a continent for even mother nature to destroy (no, being an animal on the continent of Africa will not do, you will be forcefully transported to and contained in an "arc". The transport has no guarantee, the arc has only been tried in mythology.) 6. Or learn mountaineering starting today, and hope to be on the top of Mt.Everest while it happens (and you made fun of all those people who dared try and climb it in the past, now whoz gonna have the last laugh) 7. Or be a billionaire (too late for everyone who already isn't) 8. Or marry a billionaire's daughter / son (too late for everyone who is married, or, maybe it is not too late!)
OR
(Not so recommended)
You must be an American, and must run around from India to the White House .... screaming geophysical jargon and astrophysical jargon, pretending to know eeeeverryy thing about how its gonna happen .. ..till one of the brass knobs hear you. It's just not recommended because if you can't get inside the White House, ahemm, you don't want to feel guilty for what happens to humanity...
If you do somehow manage to get in ... you just need to be really, really convincing, have to have those Chiwetel Ejiofor eyes. BTW, who keeps a name like Chiwetel Ejiofor for their child? I always thought my name was the most unique in the world. Well, so much for that!
Now, some of you may be tempted to choose this option, because you seem to get to hook up with the Prez's daughter, after. (I am guessing as a reward for saving the world)
But hey! What on earth are you thinking ... Jesus H Christ!! What a sleazy thing to do … right after all the mother nature's fury to establish righteous order and eliminate sin!! Also, definitely NOT the best thing to do on the only hope for survival of all humanity, the Arc!!
You have been warned
September 07 In fond remembranceToday I miss my Dadi and my Dadaji (Paternal grandparents). They were the simplest and the most lovable people I have ever been close to. My Dadi used to kiss me on my forehead and call me vaasru . Those wrinkled soft hands of unconditional love would shower blessings eternally. She was the epitome of simple living and high thinking. A woman with the backbone of steel and an unshakable faith in bajrang bali (an Indian diety). I treasure each moment that I shared with her and bow down in reverence to a woman par excellence. September 07 8:29 AM31 is not a bad number at all! Look at the many ways it can console you, except for when it tells you how old you are! Click on the link in this post to see the amazing trivia about 31! Firstly it is a prime number, so I call it 30Plus Prime (get it, haan? haan?  optimus prime ... 30Plus prime ... he he he ... the only thing more annoying than a PJ is when you explain it non chalantly ... muhahaha)Its been 3 decades and a year and I would seize this opportunity to quote (with customization) Buckminster Fuller (hindi) ne jo bundle maari thi (hindi) ... I mean quote kiya tha .. with all due respect " I am not a genius, I am just a 3 decades and year full bundle of experience" July 30 July 30 10:56 AMNot long ago, some of my college friends comprising of married couples and wannabe married couples had a reunion over dinner. I tell you guys, married couples from our college days are going places and doing things!
One such husband narrated an interesting anecdote of a time when he and his wife went scuba diving near the Maldives and he ended up catching an octopus or vice versa thinking it to be a mermaid.
I dont blame him! The blatant lies on media these days can cause the best of us to hallucinate.
Dude!! wake up The water is murky, the discovery channel and nat geo guys just make it look good ..after all they cannot show bad things on TV!! ... and our own dubbers lie to us when they dub and coverup in Hindi!
Here's how: Original conversation (in English): A team of shark filmers somewhere in the Atlantic Mike: "Bob ... Are you ok dude?? I mean ...seriously, after the great white shark gnarled at you from so close? .. tee hee hee" (smirking) Bob: (crying out loud) " Are you crazy? I just [] my []!!!, how long do I have stay in this shark infested water? Why dont you try it you *&^%#@, all you do is make it look good on camera? Safe and sound on the boat.. eh!! Mike:"Hang in there buddy!! Just a couple of hours more ... we need to pour some more fish around you (faces the camera and winks) He's our ace diver! Man! Lets pour in some shark food and make you a shark magnet!! Juuust a lil loonger ~~ (cant control the laughter) Bob: "Whoa .. hey stop playing around man ... hey .. hey ...Hey something just graa...aaarrghhllllrpppp " ...(gulp, glurp ... disappears underwater) Mike:"Bob .. er .. you there! I guess, you wont be needing the tuna sandwich now, what a waste of time!" Our version in Hindi Mike: "Eh .. baaab, tumhe kaisa lag raha hai .... dost? Lagta hai woh shark tumhe pasand karti hai ... hai na .. sach kahooo" Bob: (with ecstacy)"Kya tum mazzak kar rahe ho ... yeh sach much ... lajawaaab hai! Haan waqai ... woh shark to jaise mujhse dosti karna chahti hai! Mike: "Waah kya baat hai!! (faces the camera and winks)Tum humare visheshagya ho .. waqai... yeh lo tumhare dost ko kuchh aur macchliyaan khilao" Bob:"Bahot khoob .. waqai ... bahut maza araha hai ... ab dekho mai paani ke neeche ja raha ... ...(sounds of panic and distress all editied ... Bob disappears underwater)! Mike: "Mujhe bahut bhook lagi hai ... kyun na mai Baab ka yeh lazeeeeez sandwich khaa lun, nahii woh bura bilkul nahi manega!" See what I mean !! July 16 July 16 4:11 PM It has rained incessantly and stopped short of a deluge. At the same time, it is magical, living in the plains surrounded by green mountains in all directions, wherever eyes meet the horizon.
I called up people. They were celebrating their birthdays, mid July birthdays, hmm cancerians, a sensitive, moody, soft bunch. We exchanged few pleasantries and got to discuss the mood of the season. This inevitably brought the topic of music on which we almost simultaneously remembered Pandit ji.
Here is a beautiful rendition of the divine flautist.
Dense mist rises from the bowels of the fertile basin, to veil the face of lush green mountains, as dark rain laden clouds descend down to romance them. An adept flautist siezes the opportunity and renders a soul stirring melody, that entices the valley in this moment of sheer divinity.
July 06 July 06 7:19 AMIf racquets were swords, and grass courts were battlefields, yesterday the world witnessed it's second longest, but the most exhilarating, swashbuckling duel in history of Wimbledon.
Rogerer Federer defeated Andy Roddick 5-7, 7-6, 7-6, 3-6, 16-14 in a gripping match that ensued for 4 hrs and 16 minutes, Andy Roddick who has been previously ousted by Federer umpteen times with considerable ease; came back transformed as an outstanding opponent who challenged the great champion to every inch of tennis they ever learnt. The warriors fought each other long and hard. The rueful struggle put to test everything the Swiss and the American had to offer. When all had been offered, the only thing that made the difference was raw strength of character.
Here's a great excerpt from The Hindu: http://www.hindu.com/2009/07/06/stories/2009070660501700.htm "It was a great match. To say anything else would mean stripping it of its dignity. Challenging each other over every inch of the turf, Federer and Roddick dished out a final that was invariably special and occasionally alluring. Both men served with great power and depth, unfurled strokes of transcendental majesty and it was a question of who would blink first in the decider. Neither did before the American’s resistance finally came to an end rather tamely, considering everything that had gone on before. “Great players make it happen. Average players don’t,” the remarkably candid golfer Kenny Penny had said after he made two bogies on the last two holes to lose the Augusta Masters championship. On this day, making it happen took some doing for Federer. Through irresistible passages of play, it was Roddick who looked the better player. He not only took more risks, but his ground-strokes seemed have greater penetration and he covered the court with tremendous speed." After he broke Federer’s serve in the 12th game with a forehand winner to take the first set, the momentum was very much with Roddick but he blew a great chance to go up two sets, losing the second set tiebreak after being 6-2 up. You don’t offer such gifts to Federer, especially on an occasion such as this and soon the Swiss maestro had the second set in his pocket. But Roddick did well to play himself back into the contest as he broke Federer’s serve in the fourth game of the fourth set with a backhand pass. What is more, he had a great opportunity to serve for the championship as Federer went down 15-40 on serve in the 17th game. But, staring down the barrel, the great man found the answers with big serves July 03 July 03 3:38 PMDid you know? Fathers cannot accept that daughters have grown up and can make their own decisions, because then the dads become mere spectators.
Wha ..? don't hate me! This is what Kat's dad tells her in the movie 10 things I hate about you. Now, now before you presume that this blog is on its way to become yet another movie review blog, its nothing like that.
I saw New York last week. I would rate it ***
I wouldn't write much about it. It's a good flick. Yash Chopra has managed to pull yet another winner from his sleeves. As agreed we will not delve into the topic, as it is a sensitive one. The movie has a [ ] ending, and a hopeful and meaningful moral of a story.
June 27 June 27 2:56 AM Quote of the day: Go to heaven for the climate and to hell for the company!
I saw Angels & Demons last weekend. I would rate it ***
Plot
Picturized majorly in the ecclesiastical state, our story arc begins with the death of a much loved Pope. The papal conclave is to be convened for election of a new pontiff. As the smallest country in the world awaits the verdict of cardinals, for the new head of state, a respected physicist is murdered at the world's leading research center CERN. Our protagonist Professor Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) is sought for his expertise in religious iconolgy and ambigrams and called to the Vatican city. Arriving at the site of murder, Langdon finds the body of the scientist branded with the ambigram - illuminati, the symbol appears to be authentic, and the secret society of legend, long thought to be extinct, seems to have resurfaced.
An exciting chain of events unfold as Kohler calls Vetra's adopted daughter and assistant, Vittoria to the scene, who informs that the illuminati have also stolen a canister of antimatter an extremely dangerous substance with immense destructive potential to a small nuclear weapon, a potential unleashed upon contact with any form of normal matter. They have placed the stolen canister somewhere in Vatican City, with a security camera in front of it, as its digital clock counts down to the explosion.
As if that was not enough, Cardinal Mortati, chief host of the conclave finds the iiluminati also seem to have kidnapped four cardinal preferiti, who are the most eligible candidates for election. This triggers a deadly and sadistic game of cat-n-mouse, as Prof. Langdon, Vittoria, assisted with the Vatican's swiss gaurd and the enthusiastic closest aide to the Pope Camerlengo Casta, follow a series of clues to discover the murder, find the cardinals and save Vatican City from the from destruction by the newly-discovered power of antimatter.
Goods
An excellent cinematographic coverage of the Vatican. Every monument is covered aesthetically. The viewers can enjoy Vatican archives, St. Peter's square, The fountain of four rivers, St. Peter's Basilica, Apostolic Palace, the legendary Sistine Chapel and many such historical landmarks sitting in the theater.
So if you were planning a trip to the Vatican, the movie might actually save you the trouble. ;-)
A good attempt to approach the cold war between science and religion, faith, belief and reasoning. The movie moves fast and keeps you with the pace.
A lot is told in a short time, keeping the integrity and the interest of the audience alike.
Visualization and graphics, especially the apocalyptic explosion, that follows when antimatter combines with matter, is done really well.
Not so goods
Tom Hanks' character is underplayed, fans of Tom Hanks might return a little starved as the story line moves fast and accomodates hoarde of other characters, leaving less scope for the expected award winning showmanship by Tom. The plot is woven to be reasonably complex, with a few levels of deception, however it still is predictable, leaving the audience with only the thrills of a fast paced mystery ride.
SPOILER: A standard story line followed these days, that reveals a benevolent character to be the main antagonist is the root premise if the movie. A seemingly affable and primary character turns out to be the arch-villain due to weakness of character or ulterior motives.
To keh sakte hein Vatican city ke is mystery ka POPE-AT ho gaya (grin).
All in all a decent flick, one time watch. June 14 June 14 12:34 PMTip of the day: You can get into front of any line by wearing Rupa frontline! Well, so much for progressive (ahemm) marketing attempts of garment manufacturers. Here's a catchy headline from the techworld. Lightning Strikes Amazon's Cloud (Really) The Register has details on a recent EC2 outage that is being [0]blamed on a lightning strike that zapped a power distribution unit of the data center. The interruption only lasted around 6 hours, but the irony should last much longer. "While Amazon was correcting the problem, it told customers they had the option of launching new server instances to replace those that went down. But customers were also able to wait for their original instances to come back up after power was restored to the hardware in question." Long, long ago during my days in Powai, in a self sustaining and advancing academic world, I used to consult a guru. He had attained technical nirvana. I remember the time when I sought his review, for a certain unique model of a file transfer application over an unsecure underlying protocol. He had nonchalantly prophesized, "what use is your application if lightning strikes the data center where it is hosted". Little did he know that his words would haunt eternity till they reincarnated in the form of lightning 7 years later!! Buy this! Can we design the ultimate security system that out lives natural disasters? May 20 May 20 5:07 AMPoll results are out. Political parties have exchanged powers. Sensex jumped a record high, making investors 3.6 Lakh crore rupees richer!! Seasons have changed!
But nothing has changed in a certain inconspicuous flat on the top floor of a medium rise building in Pune. Clothes planted perfectly randomly on and under all the furniture available. Books, personal articles, crockery, cosmetics all mixed into one big sea of mess.
Half naked bachelors sprawling lazily on their beds, oblivious to the difference between days and nights. Loud alarms as loud as wailing fire wagon sirens manage to cause a miniscule stir in these slumber logs. Blind fingers lazily attempt try to grope the incessant alarm clocks. With no determination in them, unable to find the alarm clock, these hands return to status quo and fall asleep with the rest of the body.
Door bells and phone rings are counted below the audible range and mercilessly ignored, save for the door bell which gets the maid inside this maze of things. Good maids are tolerant I guess, they crib about the herculean task of cleaning this mess now and then. Poor things, they are grossly underpaid for the work they deliver.
Clever versions of the species manage to earn little extras with a quick sleight of hand, thanks to loose cash toppings available on top of this mess cake.
I candidly write this blog with no fear from these sleeping monsters as my only purpose is to serve truth. Nothing can really stop me from doing so, unless it is .... the aroma of freshly made aloo parathas smeared in butter, arising from .... mmm ... I am guessing .... the exhaust vents of .... yes! ... the kitchen next door !
[The author has drifted away in the wake of an irresistible aroma]
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